Spider Bite!

My sincerest apologies for beginning your week with a picture of two festering arachnid bites, but that’s what Mondays are for.

These particular arachnid bites belong to UCSD alumni pal Professor Nic, who is visiting us from Canada, the greatest of nations. The bites sent him to the very same Kaiser emergency room that saved Kelly’s life last year. Unfortunately, modern medicine lacks any kind of test that would reveal the scientific name of the perpetrator.

Kelly and I immediately pinned the blame on the infamous Brown Recluse spider (Loxosceles reclusa). But, according to the LA County Natural History Museum’s extraordinarily useful book Insects of the Los Angeles Basin, the Los Angeles basin has no brown recluses in residence. According to that same book, the most likely perp is the Long-legged Sac spider (Cheiracanthium species).

When disturbed they draw the pair of forelegs back and in, forming a cage around the body . . . These spiders have relatively strong, long fangs and have been known to bite humans, causing a wound that is painful and slow to heal.

Professor Nic captured a photo, in his Corian® bejeweled Airbnb, of the likely perp when he got back from the ER and it looks exactly like the Long-legged Sac spider in the NHM book. Don’t worry, he later released it to the hipster wilds of Echo Park.

Unlike the Brown Recluse, Long-legged sac spiders employ reputation management consultants to keep their nefarious activities out of the news. They live in the corners of rooms and even, according to the NHM book, take up residence in household appliances. So dust out that Vitamix periodically!

Lest we fall into a spider hating hole, allow me to close with some of my own, unpaid spider reputation management. I believe that we should give our our children plush, stuffed spider toys for Christmas instead of teddy bears to instill in them a love of all things Araneae. Spiders are a vital part of the web of life (pun intended) . We should cast off our fear of them and respect the work they do in keeping down the population of other insects. In Southern California the only spider to treat with caution and respect is the Western Black Widow (Latrodectus hesperus). While a spider bite from a Long-legged Sac spider is painful, it’s not going to cause serious consequences.

Why You Shouldn’t Grow an Avocado From a Pit

Consider this a brief public service announcement for readers in the tragically narrow avocado growing zone by way of a short review of basic plant biology.

I see a lot of grow-an-avocado-from-a-pit tutorials on the interwebs. It’s a great project for both kids and adults. If you’d like an avocado houseplant, by all means grow one from a pit. If, however, you live somewhere where avocados grow outside (USDA zones 8 through 11) and intend to plant your seedling outside, you should buy a tree from a nursery. Why? Bees love to pollinate avocado flowers. If you plant an avocado seed you’ll get some weird cross between the many different avocado varieties. Odds are it won’t taste good and who wants to water a tree for nine years only to get a bushel of foul avocados?

So to review: if you’d like a houseplant go ahead and plant that pit. If you’d like to keep your hipsters supplied with avocado toast buy a tree from a nursery or learn the art of avocado seedling grafting.

111 Cardoons, Medlars and Hipster Toilets

On the podcast this week, Kelly and I read and respond to listener questions and comments about cardoons, medlars and Toto’s Eco Promenade toilet! Here’s some links to the topics we rap about:

If you’d like to leave a question for the Root Simple Podcast please call (213) 537-2591 or send an email to [email protected]. You can subscribe to our podcast in the iTunes store and on Stitcher. The theme music is by Dr. Frankenstein. Additional music by Rho. A downloadable version of this podcast is here.

110 A Report from the 2017 National Heirloom Expo

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On the podcast this week are three interviews I recorded at the 7th annual National Heirloom Expo in Santa Rosa, California in the first week of September 2017. The organizers of the expo, Baker Creek Seeds, hold a press conference in the midst of the fair and that gave me the chance to talk to some really interesting folks including:

If you’d like to leave a question for the Root Simple Podcast please call (213) 537-2591 or send an email to [email protected]. You can subscribe to our podcast in the iTunes store and on Stitcher. The theme music is by Dr. Frankenstein. Additional music by Rho. A downloadable version of this podcast is here.

A Celebration of Craft

Dave Miller at work. Photo by Josey Baker.

Dave Miller at work. Photo by Josey Baker.

The highlight of the National Heirloom Expo, for me, was running into three people who epitomize the value of dedication to a craft.

I’ve found that such craftspersons keep no secrets and are more than happy talk about techniques and tips. They are also, according to Matthew Crawford, an antidote to our culture’s narcissism. Crawford says, in his book Shop Class as Soulcraft: An Inquiry Into the Value of Work,

The moral significance of work that grapples with material things may lie in the simple fact that such things lie outside the self. A washing machine, for example, surely exists to serve our needs, but in contending with one that is broken, you have to ask what it needs. At such a moment, technology is no longer a means by which our mastery of the world is extended, but an affront to our usual self-absorption. Constantly seeking self-affirmation, the narcissist views everything as an extension of his will, and therefore has only a tenuous grasp on the world of objects as something independent. He is prone to magical thinking and delusions of omnipotence. A repairman, on the other hand, puts himself in the service of others, and fixes the things they depend on. His relationship to objects enacts a more solid sort of command, based on real understanding. For this very reason, his work also chastens the easy fantasy of mastery that permeates modern culture. The repairman has to begin each job by getting outside his own head and noticing things; he has to look carefully and listen to the ailing machine.

The trio of craftspersons I ran into at the expo included a baker, a tomato farmer and a nursery owner. They share common qualities: humility, openness and an attention to detail.

The baker is Dave Miller who I helped bring to LA to teach a series of classes. Miller specializes in whole grain breads made from freshly milled local grain. Most “whole grain” loaves baked in this country are actually white flour with food coloring, sugar and a small amount of stale whole grain flour. Miller can turn wet, sticky whole grain lumps into perfectly formed, airy loaves with one deft flick of the wrist. He has the skill to build an empire the size of La Brea Bakery but is happy working at a smaller scale selling loaves at the Chico farmer’s market once a week. I think he’s the most talented baker in the U.S.

I also ran into tomato farmer and breeder Fred Hempel who was a guest on episode 79 of our podcast. Like Miller, Hempel has a humility that goes along with a sincere engagement with the natural world. Like Miller he’s more than happy to discuss his craft.

A third person I met at the festival is Alice Doyle, owner of Log House Plants a wholesale nursery in Eugene Oregon. In her lecture she went alphabetically through a list of edible plants she thought were interesting. By the end of the hour, I think she reached the letter “J.” I wished we could have had a few more hours to get to “Z.” And this is another quality of the craftsperson, a selfless enthusiasm that can turn a list of vegetables into something way more interesting than what passes for entertainment in our culture. I’ll see if I can get Doyle on the podcast.

We are, I think, entering a dangerous new age of extreme narcissism fueled, in part, by Silicon Valley tech bros who have figured out a business model based on self-affirmation. We need more people like Miller, Hempel and Doyle.