Image: Morris & Co. tapestry.
My post early this week received some well deserved criticism from Root Simple reader Genevieve,
I often hear homeowners describing their renovation woes. But as a renter of 20 years with no end in sight due to the outrageous cost of housing who would love to own a home, at times it does rub me the wrong way. I know that it is not the intention of these posts to drive doomed renters crazy (and I know home ownership is no piece of cake), but I just want to put these woes into perspective. I dream of stressing out over what type of wood floors or molding to install in my 1920s bungalow. Instead I’m stressed out about whether my landlord will evict me, forcing me to leave the state since I can no longer afford the insane rents in California.
My apologies, especially for the misguided attempt at humor at the end of the post. Rereading it this morning in light of your comment, I can see how the post is tone-deaf. Evictions, homelessness and outrageously expensive housing surround us here in California and many other places. Rather than half-baked humor I should have looked to the example of William Morris whose novel, News From Nowhere, I just finished reading. In that novel, Morris shows us a world where economic justice, meaningful work and aesthetic beauty are related. In short, his example shows us how we can have a discussion of molding details and basic human rights while showing that these concerns are part of the same continuum. Thank you Genevieve and Lanen for your constructive criticism.
I really appreciate your thoughtful and kind response. I’ve been a reader of your blog and books for at least ten years now (since the Homegrown Evolution days) and the civil, intelligent conversation is one reason why. Thank you.
I’ll be doing a blog post soon on the issues related to high housing costs in select locations and the tensions between owners and renters. Stay tuned. granolashotgun.com
Johnny,
Having recently heard you on the RS podcast and then voraciously reading all the posts on your blog, I can’t wait to see your upcoming post. Your insights and perspective are fascinating to me. I am tuned.
I personally don’t understand the necessity for an apology, Mr. H.
Maybe I’m tone deaf, but my husband’s roots come from India, I myself hail from Jordan w/ Palestinian roots. We both grew up from very meager means but went to school and now have great jobs.
I am now a homemaker by choice to raise our children here in SCV. I’m sure I’ll have no problem merging back into the work world after raising the children– I’ve ensured this by keeping up to date.
Lately, my postings here if you guys notice are about games and fun activities. I was gonna post something about Polis, which is a boardgame about the wars between Sparta and Athens.
Now I’m afraid such postings will be interpreted as having waaay too much time in their hands, ie. ‘some of us have to actually work ya know’ type of views.
I think your blog was very personal and raised a good issue , I still don’t understand what the apology was for ??? Sometimes I do wish I was a renter, but if we opted to rent it would NOT be because we were left without choice.
My husband and I also get manipulated to feel badly about our success because there are poor people in India and the Middle East. Not knowing how active we are in civic groups focused in those regions.
Should I apologize too? For having the “luxury” to play games and even suggest the beauty inherent in them, because they signify a type of “luxury”, ie. some people are
too busy surviving or making a living, while YOU ARE introducing boardgames to your children, uh the gall !!! I’m sorry Mr. (and Mrs.) H, but this posting kinda hit a personal note for me.
Please delete if too mean spirited , or tone deaf. Your loyal reader (no apologies needed here). Nor will I apologize for my status in life.
Agreed!!!
No, I don’t think an apology is in order.
I think, as much as anything, that anytime a blogger posts his or her thoughts and feeling publicly, there will be such a wide variety of responses, and which response comes through will depend very much on the personality and feelings of the blogger. This blogger is empathetic, and wishes, above all apparently, not to alienate readers.
While I applaud your success in reaching your goals, I believe it is also important to realize that opportunity looks different to everyone. What I mean in saying this is, YOU saw opportunity, grasped it, and made a good life for yourselves, but through another’s eyes, what was obviously opportunity to you may not have seemed as such.
Opportunity is only opportunity if one can utilize it as such at any given time.
I get endlessly frustrated with the expression “If I can do it, anyone can.”
This is such a self-righteous and self-serving comment, and so overwhelmingly untrue. If everyone could do it, they would. No one wants to fail, and no one ever wants to live below their capabilities. There are so many reasons for lack of success that’s it’s never just as simple as squandered opportunity.
Again, congratulations on your success here. Stories like yours are what I believe is still so great about our country. All people, at this point anyway, are still allowed to come here to be free. I very much enjoy and welcome the diversity.
“This is such a self-righteous and self-serving comment, and so overwhelmingly untrue. If everyone could do it, they would. No one wants to fail, and no one ever wants to live below their capabilities.”
Morgana,
But the issue wasn’t that. My background story was simply a cultural perspective. That this whole notion of the “Evil Eye” or of crab mentality is so much more pronounced in the developing world, that Americans (especially very nice ones) don’t identify with it.
I read the original comment and interpreted it as such. Genevieve has elaborated further, which i truly appreciate. Look I know more than many how fortune is in the end the driving factor in Life. But that wasn’t my point at all (sorry if I made it seem like it was).
My point was that it’s a permaculture blog, everyone here comes here because we all sense this feeling that in the end less is more. That simplicity is the point.
Both Mr. and Mrs. H aren’t renovating some mansion in Santa Barbara, they’re improving living conditions for themselves with an eye on permaculture, that’s the focus. All whilst sharing with us.
Here’s some more cultural perspectives, asceticism did not start and end with Jesus, or John the Baptist, before them (and til now) people in the Middle East and India practice a life of simplicity for the sake of simplicity.
You go anywhere in the Middle East today and cars stop to let the Bedous pass by. There’s a sense that they are in the right. People who own nothing exist perfectly with people who own a lot in India, though each knowing that less is (in the end) more.
So in conclusion the point of my original posting was more for (and not against) simplicity. They are renovating a simple , humble home. and sharing their experience about how we can all do more with less for ourselves. That’s why I keep coming back here.
For someone else to chime in and quip Hey I have lesser than you! Hence you live in luxury and Thus have offended me (that’s at least how I read it, my interpretation). That to me is absurd. I’m not saying everyone should follow what I have done, not at all, not my point. My point,
is Mr. H and Mrs. H are like the Bedous in the desert or ascetics in India, it seems as readers here all of us, its just wrong to say actually you guys are living in luxury. No they’re not, I look at their photos and I see toil and hardship (which is also the point permaculture no?), for anyone to see the opposite seems more tone deaf.
I understand the Apology is in keeping with their values, but as someone who knows this phenomenon all too well (given where I’m from), I felt I had to share my opinion. Didn’t mean to offend anyone, and no I’m not at (at all) saying everyone can be successful or that fortune (good or bad) are static. Mish mish-mish / Bukra fil mish-mish (no apricots / tomorrow will be apricots) are common expressions in the Levant/the Shem.
Rania S, I hope you don’t think I was criticizing you, or singling you when I wrote
“This is such a self-righteous and self-serving comment, and so overwhelmingly untrue. If everyone could do it, they would. No one wants to fail, and no one ever wants to live below their capabilities.”
In no way was that directed at you, or anyone here. I was simply making the point that I hear that so much, particularly today in the light of so much political, racial, and economic division. I’ve heard statements like that used far too many times as an excuse to disparage groups in conversations, and at times arguments, about nationalism and patriotism. Too many people see a failure to capitalize on what they see as opportunity as a reason to marginalize others.
I really didn’t take anything you said as a negative commentary, but simply used it as a jumping off point.
All the best-
NO not at all, Morgana. I just wanted to be clear that , that wasn’t my point.
Cheers.
Please don’t quit sharing about your home improvement projects as you find sharing them worthwhile – they are one of the key reasons I follow the blog. Your posts about your decisions how to renovate your home based on the era it was built have really made me think harder about decisions I make for my own home, which was somewhat shoddily built in 2007.
The inequity in this country is not going away any time soon, and I think you are doing a good job covering that as well. The last podcast hit on those tensions in depth.
Reality is that life is hard. Being a renter was hard. Being a homeowner is also hard. There’s no one else to call when shit hits the fan and my parents certainly did not teach me how to maintain a property. They instilled a DIY spirit without any DIY skills. I am always in need of more life skills. Please keep talking about it all!
You apologized? For what? What you have? My goodness. Every cooking blogger would have to apologize for having food, food choices, and where they get their food. Craft bloggers would have to apologize for having the means or brains to acquire their materials and for their practiced craft or God-given cleverness. Where will we focus? On the less lucky or those who for whatever reason do not have the means of others? I do not think you need to apologize or give a voice to people who appear to be speaking sour grapes. I have so little and still enjoy hearing about all your “things” and skills since you never gloat.
“But as a renter of 20 years with no end in sight due to the outrageous cost of housing who would love to own a home, at times it does rub me the wrong way.”
I just reread the original post and it is very well qualified (which I do respect). And I hope i’ve qualified my comment above as well.
What rubs me the wrong way is this, now we can’t complain about stuff or activities we do because others maybe aren’t privy to them, thus have now offended them inadvertently? This is crazy. Whether thru fortune or decisions, no one should make another feel badly about what they do, what they have, where they live, etc. (so long as gained honestly) this I think is my main issue here.
Yes gloating is the flip side of the coin of this same issue. The “Evil Eye” is a concept both found in the Middle East and the Indian sub-Continent. So maybe this is deeply a cultural reaction from me, but this all reminds me of the “Evil Eye”, a phenomenon I (and my husband) grew up with. Only to see it surface in a permaculture blog no less– which ironically is about having less.
Don’t let someone guilt-trip you because they can’t afford to live in one of the most expensive places on the planet. Keep on truckin.
I know homeownership is the American dream, but it’s also a trap when local economies take a hit, like a plant closing.
I’ve often thought that we’d have less severe problems in troubled times if people were free to follow work, instead of being anchored by an underwater mortgage.
Thank you all for your kind comments. The problem with my post comes at the end when I make a lame joke about living in a shed in the Home Depot parking lot (with a reference to garden hermits that makes it worse). The vast income disparity in my own neighborhood makes this not funny and, ultimately, an example of lazy writing. A better post might have been to take a serious look at the viability of Home Depot sheds as a temporary housing solution. Some questions that could be addresed in that post: Is it cheaper to build a shed from scratch? Which Home Depot shed works best as a spare bedroom? How well does a composting toilet work in a shed? In the podcast interview I did with Johnny he actually talked about sheds as a suburban living solution.
Greetings commenters!
What a surprise (and mild embarrassment) to get up and see a Root Simple apology to a comment I made about “tone-deafness” in the context of housing in LA and homeownership. First I will say that I LOVE and have an incredible amount of respect for the work that Kelly and Erik do. I have literally read every post on their blog and listened to every podcast. In short, my comment was not in any way meant to be a guilt trip or to stymie their expression. As someone who almost never leaves comments on the Internet, perhaps I should have expected that my thoughts would be somewhat misconstrued. Such is the nature of these things!! However, Erik is right, it was the tone of the last portion of his post about giving up and living in a shed that I had the most issue with. And perhaps I was overly sensitive to it given that I have heard many people around me lately bemoaning their latest renovation complications. I do not begrudge them or have any animus towards them, I simply would like to gently remind that doing so publicly often falls on the ears of those who are less privileged in that regard. That is all. I, too, love this forum in large part because the civil and intelligent conversation. My comment was meant to encourage that, not to make others feel judged. I rest my case!
Hi Genevieve, Hope I didn’t put you on the spot. I thought your comment was spot on and not judgemental. I appreciate the feedback. Rather than make a cheap, insensitive joke I should have split the post into two parts. Part one would be a explanation of traditional molding profiles while part two would be a look at sheds as accessory bedrooms (lots of reasons why this might be a good idea–low income housing, a growing family, downsizing etc.). In fact, you gave me an opportunity to work on two future posts . . .
Thank you, Genevieve, for that clarification.
The downside of home ownership–I paid $140 to an electrician to come pull out my refrigerator and plug it in. I explained to the people/friends that I could not pull the refrigerator on wheels out and I needed someone to do that and use the circuit tester to see if the problem was the refrigerator or the electrical outlet.
The electrician came and showed no mercy, plugging it in for me and taking a check to hold for two days until I could borrow the money. I live along, am 100% disabled, own my house, and NO, I am not going to move or take any measures you might suggest unless it is find new friends.
As a home owner, long ago I purchased a circuit tester, so this involved nothing I could not have done for myself 15 years ago. Exbf who used to do these things is less capable than I am of physical work.
Totally agree with you , PP ; it’s like running your own business , most people who work for someone else or for gov’t bureaucracies assume it’s very easy.
The fruits of one’s labor, many times mirror their own efforts, more than not. Unless of course you win the lottery or happen upon a big surprise inheritance.
My father has this quote for all his employees to read in his place of business,
“I divide my officers into four groups. There are clever, diligent, stupid, and lazy officers. Usually two characteristics are combined. Some are clever and diligent — their place is the General Staff. The next lot are stupid and lazy — they make up 90 percent of every army and are suited to routine duties. Anyone who is both clever and lazy is qualified for the highest leadership duties, because he possesses the intellectual clarity and the composure necessary for difficult decisions. One must beware of anyone who is stupid and diligent — he must not be entrusted with any responsibility because he will always cause only mischief.” — Kurt Freiherr von Hammerstein-Equord
growing up I didn’t understand the point, but later having read countless managerial books, it’s essentially just this… (though am sure Bill Gates did not originate this concept, nor General Equord of Weimar Germany i’m sure)
http://quotespictures.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/05/i-choose-a-lazy-person-to-do-a-hard-job-because-a-lazy-person-will-find-an-easy-way-to-do-it-bill-gates.jpg
I don’t mean to make light of your experience with the electrician – heaven knows I’ve been in that position more often than I can afford – but my husband is an electrician, second-generation IBEW to boot, and when something electrical misbehaves around here, well, he’s the man to call. Last time we had such an event, he looked at the appliance in question and gave it a quick, hard, thwack on the side. It started working again. “I could have done that”, I said, “I didn’t need an electrician.” “Not true”, said he, “the difference is that I know exactly where to hit it.” This is what four years of electrical school and five years of apprenticeship gets you.
I have had great respect for your blog and have read it with great interest. This is, however, somewhat dimmed by the fact that you now appear to be joining the crowd of head-patters who are worrying about hurting anyone’s feelings.
You know what? I absolutely dislike Kon Mari and I have very serious objections to the results of her “cleaning” methods (especially the impact it has on landfills). You’ve had a series of posts describing your success using her de-cluttering ideas. Your results and your opinions are Not the same as mine. BUT they do NOT damage me in any way. I am sufficiently self-aware to read the posts anyway and move on without feeling affronted that someone else has different means and methods. I respect and accept your right to talk about something I dislike. And I am interested BECAUSE your opinion differs from my own; that’s how I learn.
Each person is different. We have different feelings, different challenges, different opportunities. We cannot make everyone the same. Life is not fair. It never will be. Acceptance of our differences makes us stronger, not weaker, and that means that sometimes we are gonna have to hear or read things that we do not like about what we do not have. We have to learn to just “be” and that means that we can’t always ask for quarter.
This seems to be the Generation of Indignation. No one seems to feel they have value anymore unless they have some psychic injury or some disenfranchisement of the soul. I don’t want to live like that. Yeah, I have trouble in my life–big trouble–but it’s mine and other folks do NOT need to give in to me because of it. I can stand on my own. It’s a shame that your complaining reader hasn’t reached that point yet. And she won’t learn from being head-patted, either.
Unless you are pointedly speaking against some person, then how is what you said about your house update an offense? You caved in. Your original post wasn’t tonedeaf but your response was something else again.
What will you give in to next? Don’t talk about cats; some people are allergic. Don’t discuss bees; some people are afraid of bugs and vegans are often against the use of honey. Don’t even mention power tools because blades and things with sharp points are scary. After awhile, what will you have to talk about? Will it become too dangerous to have a thought of your own?
I would really rather come to your blog knowing that I was reading your opinion about the things you think about. I would rather that I could know that you were being “really real” rather than thinking that you were editing yourself to tiptoe around those with too-tender hurt feelings.