We’re Moving!

My friend Nik sent me this realter.com listing late last night. He found out about it from a real estate agent friend. In the suburbs of Atlanta, you’d never guess from the unassuming exterior what’s going on inside.

At half the price and almost three times the size of our present 100 year old bungalow in gritty Los Angeles, I gave some serious thought about a, shall we say, “lifestyle shift.” And if you think this living room delivers, wait until you see the rest of the house.

Shag conversation pit. Check.

You also get this room with a large interior fountain smack in the middle. Inside? Outside? Do these categories exist?

Just when you thought it couldn’t get any groovier, you get to the master bedroom and, well, of course you need a circular bed and mirrors.

But, wait, there’s another bedroom in which you realize that, in order to do this house justice, you’re gonna need to institute weekly “key parties” even if you find the idea distasteful. How else to do justice to a curved, mirrored ceiling, framed in shag, facing a shoji screen. Not sure why the previous owner has a small dinosaur skeleton opposite the bed.

I covet the curved underground workshop. I’d add NORAD themed decor for a missile silo vibe.

Swap out the pool table in the bonus room for a foosball table and you’ve got your own tech startup office.

Lastly, you get a kind of half-assed tiki themed garage.

I told my friend that if we turned this into our retirement commune I’d wake up every morning and spend the rest of the day laughing. Those laughs would begin with the absurdity of the house but, I have a feeling, turn into a darker, existential laugh recalling the Charles Fort quote, “If there is a universal mind, must it be sane?”

Leave a comment


  1. Whew! For a moment I thought that you were seriously considering swapping your beautiful little Craftsman bungalow for this ridiculous monstrosity. If I lived there, I would not wake up every morning laughing – I’d wake up crying and wondering what bad things I’d done to deserve this fate.

  2. I checked up on the realtor website. At $475K this hideous heap is about the same price and rather larger than my 100 year old Craftsman bungalow in a slightly remote mill town in beautiful Coastal BC. Something wrong here – or maybe everyone realizes how hideous it is and no one is going to buy it? Perhaps the $475K price is the land value minus the cost of demolishing it and trucking it to the dump?

  3. LOL, I was legitimately thinking y’all were announcing a move and of course, I should know better! Actually a cool house but needs a lot of help to save it from the 60s!

  4. I knew subscribing to the RSS of this site would pay off eventually, and boy did it ever today.

  5. I wonder how hard it is to make a round bed…where do you get round sheets? I don’t know why this never occurred to me before.

    That is quite the time capsule of a house.

    • As a first approximation, you take square sheets and cut the four corners off, giving an octagon. You can then cut the eight corners off the octagon, etc, etc.

    • An excellent question so I looked it up on Amazon and for somewhere between $40 and $95 you can get yourself a round sheet bed set. So don’t let this be an obstacle.

    • When I looked at the round bed and its surrounding draperies, all I could think of was the dust and cobwebs that it would all collect.
      Not for me!

Comments are closed.