Behind the Scenes at Root Simple is a World of Big Pumpkins, Pomegranate Catapults and Man Crates

OurManFlint-Galaxy

In case you were wondering what the Root Simple offices look like, I included the image above. On the left is our blogging control panel. In the center you can see Kelly and I overseeing our team of Thoughtstyling™ testers. To the right is our garden.

Our main task each day is monitoring the incoming stream of press releases and spam comments. In the interest of giving you a behind the scenes glimpse into the thrilling life of a blogger, I thought I’d reproduce some of the better press releases verbatim, just like real journalists do.

HALF MOON BAY’S WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP OF MONSTER GOURDS COMING UP OCTOBER 13
$30,000 MEGA-PRIZE OFFERED FOR NEW WORLD RECORD PUMPKIN

HALF MOON BAY, CALIFORNIA (October 1, 2014) –– Will this be the year the world pumpkin heavyweight record is squashed in Half Moon Bay, California? The intrigue is building as Superstar Gourd Growing Greats and their astonishing, mind-boggling, Volkswagen-sized orange orbs gather on the morning of Monday, October 13 for the 41st Annual Safeway World Championship Pumpkin Weigh-Off –– in the World Pumpkin Capital of Half Moon Bay, California –– the kick-off to Half Moon Bay’s world-famous Art & Pumpkin Festival which takes place October 18-19. . . . Using forklifts and harnesses, the monster gourds will be carefully placed on a 5-ton capacity digital scale under the watchful eye of officials from the San Mateo County Agricultural Commissioner’s Office of Weights, Sealers, and Measures.

If only we were closer and could hang out in the green room with those Office of Weights, Sealers, and Measures officials. And does “intrigue” imply that these same officials can be persuaded with a cash donation? Can monster pumpkin enthusiasts have people killed?

Madera hosts 4th annual Madera Pomegranate Festival

Madera, CA. – In Madera, the Heart of Pomegranate Country, preparations are well underway for the fourth annual Madera Pomegranate Festival, which takes place Saturday, November 1, 2014, at Madera Municipal Airport. The event is organized by the Madera Tourism Alliance, a committee of the Madera Chamber of Commerce.

“On behalf of the Madera Chamber, I would like to invite everyone to come out and join us for this fun-filled event,” Eugene Bell, Chairman of the Board of Directors, stated. “The Tourism Alliance Committee and Chamber staff are working hard to bring another great event to our community this year.”

A favorite part of the lineup according to event producers is the Pomegranate Grenade Launch. Dreamed up by the committee and brothers Brian and Nick Davis of Twin Pomegranates Winery, the Pomegranate Grenade Launch is a massive slingshot that launches pomegranates at a target some distance away.

Organizers say Madera Municipal Airport provides ample space for vendors and displays. That, along with ample parking for attendees, make the airport an ideal location for this annual event. “The available space and the City’s help in making the event happen really creates the perfect environment for the Pomegranate Festival,” Debi Bray, president and CEO of the Madera Chamber of Commerce says.

Returning to this year’s lineup is a display for various aircraft as well as skydivers from Madera Parachute Center.

New to this year’s festival will be a children’s stage featuring local dance, karate and other talents from our young Maderans, a Jelly Belly attraction with samples and games and a Fossil Dig hosted by the Fossil Discovery Center of Madera County.  Other attractions include a presentation from the Fresno Chaffee Zoomobile, art classes from the Madera County Arts Council, kids’ games from the Madera Parks Department, numerous cooking demos from local chefs, live music by the Marie Wilson Band, plus everything pomegranate.

“We’ll have vendors selling the fruit itself, plus pomegranate trees, pomegranate-scented candles, jellies and anything else you could think of involving pomegranate, and probably some things you didn’t know could incorporate the fruit,” Bray mentions.

Will they aim the pomegranate trébuchet at the skydivers?  Or does the Geneva Convention prohibit that?

Hello Kelly and Erik!

My name is Alexandra, and I’m the community manager for Man Crates. We’re a new company that ships awesome gifts for men in custom wooden crates that he has to open with a crowbar! At Man Crates, it is our mission to end the difficulties that have long been associated with buying gifts for men. I’m emailing you because I think you would be a perfect fit for our “ManCave Makeover” campaign.

The man cave… a ritualistic spot where men retreat to in order to watch football with friends, spill beer, shout at the TV, and tell the same 8 stories over and over again. Man caves come in all sorts of interesting shapes and spaces, be it in a basement, a garage or the classic shed. However, as original as these spaces are, when it comes to decor they tend to all look the same. A cheap neon beer sign (or beer mirror), a dart board and of course a mini fridge. I don’t like to use the word dull but I suppose they are called caves for a reason!

We are looking for bloggers like yourself to help us end these man cave decorating woes by creating a post highlighting some items you would gift to a guy who is looking to decorate his new man cave. Replace that bar cart with a fancy new whiskey set, change the neon sign to hanging lamp, and for goodness sakes buy a new arm chair!

If this sounds like something you might be interested in, let me know and I can send over more details.

Just in time, I completed my own ManCave Makeover:

30314-660x511

I can hardly wait to crowbar open that crate and launch a few pomegranate grenades.

Leave a comment

7 Comments

  1. My sister lives near Madera and I had no idea they had a pomegranate festival! I hope she can attend and tell me all about the pom-slingshot. I sure hope they’re using bad fruit since I’d much rather eat them instead of smashing them against a target.

  2. Nice photo.

    Looks like you finally settled on a uniform, Kelly. Not so much the Soviet style you suggested in a previous post; they’re more the Dr. Evil-as-mad-scientist look.

Comments are closed.