I was cruising the nursery aisles when three of my favorite words caught my eye: dandelion, chickweed and plantain.
I read the print on this bag as saying “Contains dandelion, chickweed and plantain” and–apparently drifting in my own fantasy world where things make sense, instead of the world in which we actually live–I thought to myself, “Well, that’s fantastic! All three in one bag for easy seeding.”
Then I looked again and realized that the text read “Controls” not “Contains.” It was–of course– a bag of weed n’ feed lawn stimulator–chock full of poison for killing my favorite edibles and medicinals (as well as, I admit, some pretty intractable grasses).
Not a large bag of wild seed to make your yard into a giant salad bowl.
I’d like to return to my fantasy world now, please.